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Wednesday, March 30, 2005
I am so freaking pissed off..!
Dad juz told me that the church came up with this new policy, that no one is allowed to jam in the church unless it's christian music.. I booked the church's sanctuary on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, and tml's my last practice.. Since i cant use the sanctuary anymore, i gotta make last minute plans for tml.. Like how am i suppose to do that?! My audition is THIS SATURDAY and how am i gonna find a place to record tml??! Why cant the church be supportive of me?? I am so depressed.. Getting into laselle means alot to me.. What am i gonna do??? Nobody's supportive of me...I love my OG.. They're great.. I love hanging out with them.. They even wanna go to the extend of supporting me at my laselle auditions.. Well, at least they care.. Got into my new class today.. Can u believe it?! My Home tutor (form teacher) is Aunty Jenny's God sister.. Haha.. I think its juz too coincidental.. Plus, she's my Geography teacher.. She's really funny.. She likes laughing at her own jokes.. hAha..Then went to town with some of my OG mates to buy some stuffies for school.. Spent so much.. Im so broke and bankrupt and dead.. It's g etting hard to leave MI now.. But, i really wanna get into laselle, and yet, i dont wanna leave my OG mates in MI.. Sobz.. I hope i solve everything by today.. I needa record that cd.. I am so heart brokened and angry.. WHY?!!! Now who's gonna sponsor my recording? This world doesnt care.. Except my OG mates.. Hmph! uRgHhH.. 8:02 PM
Sunday, March 27, 2005
What a week ive had! 29 hrs of school, 8 hrs of dance practice, 4 hrs of audition practice and last but not least, 168 hrs of coughing, coughing and more coughing..
Am so tired.. Dont know how im gonna survive my pre-u years.. Cant believe i have to wake up at 6am every morning, just like secondary school, plus i have to study even longer hours.. zZzz.. Wonder how my cousin survives all these when she's lazier than me.. HaHa.. Whoops.. *acts innocent*
Orientation was not too bad, quite fun actually. I mean, i dont think you'd experience orientation like those in the JCs or Centralised Institutes.. They're so fun and full of ideas.. HhahA.. And the people are so geled together. My OG is totally cool. Everyone works together like a team. Even at recess time, we sit together, regardless of race or gender. This is so unlike my sec school, there's so many racial cliques. The chinese would group together and the malays would form their own group somewhere else.. Dun realli like that.. Here in Millenia, everybody's a team and best of all, we speak ENGLISH to each other! :)
I love my OG!! *OG13 Rawk! YaY..
Okaez.. Not really prepared to take A levels anyway. I think i'll probably fail econs and mother tongue.. HAha.. Yes.. Mother tongue i will certainly and purposely fail.. HaHa.. Another turn off is the discipline master.. He's so sarcastic in an insulting way.. Maybe that's just to scare the year ones.. Then there's the thought of wearing the uniform again.. It's like i cant be myself anymore.. I have to pretend to be studious and innocent and cute and primary-school-like.. Sigh.. Then i have to forget about preserving my earholes... Dang..
Dang dang dang... Boo! 6:58 AM
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Never Be Replaced
Baby i love you and i'll never let you go
But if i have to boy i think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And i promise you that you will never be replaced
Baby i love you and i'll never let you go
But if i have to boy i think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And i promise you that you will never be replaced
I love you yes i do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until the end of time
From the day i met you i knew we'd be together
And now i know that i wanna be with you forever
I wanna marry you and i wanna have your kids
Thinking never compared to the feeling of your kisses
I could say im truly happy till this day
You make me think i better live my life everyday
There's never been a doubt in my mind
That i regret ever having you by my side
But if the day comes that i have to let you go
I think there's something i should probable let you know
That everyday that ive spent with you
I will mis you coz im happy that i had you at all
Baby i love you and i'll never let you go
But if i have to boy i think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And i promise you that you will never be replaced
I love you yes i do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until the end of time
9:08 PM
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Yeah!
I wrote a new song - AGAIN!
But i ain't gonna post it coz im lazeEee.. *sNorEz*
Dar is in India rite now. And again he is overseas.. I juz dont understand why he always has to go overseas and when he's around, he cant book out.. It's weird.. For this month, i only like met him twice.. It's so unfair..
I think its not so bad coz he called last nite. I was not feeling very well so i rested, then suddenly my phone rang and i had this feeling.. This feeling that he'd call.. Didnt tok for long, but it's still worth it.. Thank God for that gut feeling..
Im kinda infatuated with the guitar now. Juz strumming with no end in mind and somehow, created a tune in my head. I need the other instruments to back me up but i dont think we'll have enuf time the fact my guitarist is always busy, or that he's too excited to record when we're not even done practicing.. To my guitarist: Pls laRr.. I really need you in this.. If you're not patient with me, im gonna mess up during auditions and i wont be able to go to laselle.. This is a very important favour.. Sigh.."
I juz wish i could play the guitar.. But it seems like there's no fate between us.. I can play abit of the violin, but the guitar.. Somehow.. Hmm.. Blame myself for having small hands.. Whoa.. Really thank God for giving me this gift to be able to write.. Ill juz pray that he'd lead me to the right direction.. Thank you! :)
7:17 AM
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Yea!
I finally finished my final song for recording.. :)
Here goes..
Unwanted
The world feels small
It'd like nobody cares at all
You are trapped and you want to let go
But this little dark cage holds you back.
Tell me why
you can never reason
Tell me why
it seems so unfair
Chorus:
Take a look at yourself
See those beautiful hands
If only you could use them
to defend yourself.
Use your beautiful soul
Make a beautiful change
Coz you will never win
If you feel so unwanted.
Love is so far away
You try but you can never step out of the darkness
Tears like a river fall deep in your wounds
You drown, you need to be saved.
Tell me why
you can never reason
Tell me why
it seems so unfair
Chorus:
Take a look at yourself
See those beautiful hands
If only you could use them
to defend yourself.
Use your beautiful soul
Make a beautiful change
Coz you will never win
If you feel so unwanted.
Bridge:
You want to fly away
Get away
You want to hide away
Hate today..
Chorus:
Take a look at yourself
See those beautiful hands
If only you could use them
to defend yourself.
Use your beautiful soul
Make a beautiful change
Coz you will never win
If you feel so unwanted.
You will never win
If you feel so unwanted
Unwanted...
2:52 PM
I cant wait for 2nd April..
FYI, it's not coza Avril's concert. I will NOT be going..
I cant wait for my auditions..
I trust in the Lord that the "judges" will like what they hear and see so that i can finally FINALLY be a student of Laselle SIA.
Already finished two songs..
So i have another song to write..
Already thought of which songs to sing for auditions..
So i juz need to practice. Thank you WS for helping me with the guitar playing.. :)
I wanna be like my dad..
I wanna be able to write songs like him.
or to use music as an instrument to express his love for God..
That is so cool..
HHmm.. Im beginning to feel like a new person..
Im growing.. Hmm..
12:28 PM
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Why do i have this feeling that nobody cares? 11:20 PM
Angel is mad..
Maybe we've been driven far apart from each other..
Maybe it's been ages since i last saw you..
Maybe we juz differ in so many ways,
Like im standing here on Earth, and you're out there in space..
Maybe we juz dun understand each other..
Maybe some things we have done wrong..
Maybe things are too deep,
until we can no longer pull out..
I want to forget..
Coz if it lingers in my memory,
things between us will never change.
Are you willing to forget?
Or do you want to keep it in your memory,
so it lingers on...
Until one of us gives up..
Do you want that?
No.?
Then love me like you SHOULD..
3:54 PM
April 2 2005..
I wont be enjoying that live performance by Avril..
or sitting in the midst of adoring fans, screaming her name..
I'll be alone at home, and like a couch potato, watch all of Avril's vcds at home..
I cant go to Avril's concert..
Juz coz no one's going with me..
aRRRRRRrRRRRrRrrrrRrrRr!!!!
.StuPid.
4:33 AM
Friday, March 11, 2005
"Who wants to walk the road of life with me"?!
Are you in your sick mind or wat?!
You're like inviting people to walk that "Road of LIFE" with you..
Hello..
Let me remind you that you're attached and NOT AVAILABLE..
Thank you...
4:58 PM
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Shoot..
There's something wrong with this blardy blog..
Still editting here and there.. Boo..
Hope i complete this soon.. 3:28 PM
I'm an Angel without wings..
They have somehow disappeared.
Now i can no longer fly.
God, please give me back my Wings.. 1:29 AM
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
I am so freaking pissed off..!
Dad juz told me that the church came up with this new policy, that no one is allowed to jam in the church unless it's christian music.. I booked the church's sanctuary on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, and tml's my last practice.. Since i cant use the sanctuary anymore, i gotta make last minute plans for tml.. Like how am i suppose to do that?! My audition is THIS SATURDAY and how am i gonna find a place to record tml??! Why cant the church be supportive of me?? I am so depressed.. Getting into laselle means alot to me.. What am i gonna do??? Nobody's supportive of me...I love my OG.. They're great.. I love hanging out with them.. They even wanna go to the extend of supporting me at my laselle auditions.. Well, at least they care.. Got into my new class today.. Can u believe it?! My Home tutor (form teacher) is Aunty Jenny's God sister.. Haha.. I think its juz too coincidental.. Plus, she's my Geography teacher.. She's really funny.. She likes laughing at her own jokes.. hAha..Then went to town with some of my OG mates to buy some stuffies for school.. Spent so much.. Im so broke and bankrupt and dead.. It's g etting hard to leave MI now.. But, i really wanna get into laselle, and yet, i dont wanna leave my OG mates in MI.. Sobz.. I hope i solve everything by today.. I needa record that cd.. I am so heart brokened and angry.. WHY?!!! Now who's gonna sponsor my recording? This world doesnt care.. Except my OG mates.. Hmph! uRgHhH..
Sunday, March 27, 2005
What a week ive had! 29 hrs of school, 8 hrs of dance practice, 4 hrs of audition practice and last but not least, 168 hrs of coughing, coughing and more coughing..
Am so tired.. Dont know how im gonna survive my pre-u years.. Cant believe i have to wake up at 6am every morning, just like secondary school, plus i have to study even longer hours.. zZzz.. Wonder how my cousin survives all these when she's lazier than me.. HaHa.. Whoops.. *acts innocent*
Orientation was not too bad, quite fun actually. I mean, i dont think you'd experience orientation like those in the JCs or Centralised Institutes.. They're so fun and full of ideas.. HhahA.. And the people are so geled together. My OG is totally cool. Everyone works together like a team. Even at recess time, we sit together, regardless of race or gender. This is so unlike my sec school, there's so many racial cliques. The chinese would group together and the malays would form their own group somewhere else.. Dun realli like that.. Here in Millenia, everybody's a team and best of all, we speak ENGLISH to each other! :)
I love my OG!! *OG13 Rawk! YaY..
Okaez.. Not really prepared to take A levels anyway. I think i'll probably fail econs and mother tongue.. HAha.. Yes.. Mother tongue i will certainly and purposely fail.. HaHa.. Another turn off is the discipline master.. He's so sarcastic in an insulting way.. Maybe that's just to scare the year ones.. Then there's the thought of wearing the uniform again.. It's like i cant be myself anymore.. I have to pretend to be studious and innocent and cute and primary-school-like.. Sigh.. Then i have to forget about preserving my earholes... Dang..
Dang dang dang... Boo!
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Never Be Replaced
Baby i love you and i'll never let you go
But if i have to boy i think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And i promise you that you will never be replaced
Baby i love you and i'll never let you go
But if i have to boy i think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And i promise you that you will never be replaced
I love you yes i do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until the end of time
From the day i met you i knew we'd be together
And now i know that i wanna be with you forever
I wanna marry you and i wanna have your kids
Thinking never compared to the feeling of your kisses
I could say im truly happy till this day
You make me think i better live my life everyday
There's never been a doubt in my mind
That i regret ever having you by my side
But if the day comes that i have to let you go
I think there's something i should probable let you know
That everyday that ive spent with you
I will mis you coz im happy that i had you at all
Baby i love you and i'll never let you go
But if i have to boy i think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And i promise you that you will never be replaced
I love you yes i do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until the end of time
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Yeah!
I wrote a new song - AGAIN!
But i ain't gonna post it coz im lazeEee.. *sNorEz*
Dar is in India rite now. And again he is overseas.. I juz dont understand why he always has to go overseas and when he's around, he cant book out.. It's weird.. For this month, i only like met him twice.. It's so unfair..
I think its not so bad coz he called last nite. I was not feeling very well so i rested, then suddenly my phone rang and i had this feeling.. This feeling that he'd call.. Didnt tok for long, but it's still worth it.. Thank God for that gut feeling..
Im kinda infatuated with the guitar now. Juz strumming with no end in mind and somehow, created a tune in my head. I need the other instruments to back me up but i dont think we'll have enuf time the fact my guitarist is always busy, or that he's too excited to record when we're not even done practicing.. To my guitarist: Pls laRr.. I really need you in this.. If you're not patient with me, im gonna mess up during auditions and i wont be able to go to laselle.. This is a very important favour.. Sigh.."
I juz wish i could play the guitar.. But it seems like there's no fate between us.. I can play abit of the violin, but the guitar.. Somehow.. Hmm.. Blame myself for having small hands.. Whoa.. Really thank God for giving me this gift to be able to write.. Ill juz pray that he'd lead me to the right direction.. Thank you! :)
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Yea!
I finally finished my final song for recording.. :)
Here goes..
Unwanted
The world feels small
It'd like nobody cares at all
You are trapped and you want to let go
But this little dark cage holds you back.
Tell me why
you can never reason
Tell me why
it seems so unfair
Chorus:
Take a look at yourself
See those beautiful hands
If only you could use them
to defend yourself.
Use your beautiful soul
Make a beautiful change
Coz you will never win
If you feel so unwanted.
Love is so far away
You try but you can never step out of the darkness
Tears like a river fall deep in your wounds
You drown, you need to be saved.
Tell me why
you can never reason
Tell me why
it seems so unfair
Chorus:
Take a look at yourself
See those beautiful hands
If only you could use them
to defend yourself.
Use your beautiful soul
Make a beautiful change
Coz you will never win
If you feel so unwanted.
Bridge:
You want to fly away
Get away
You want to hide away
Hate today..
Chorus:
Take a look at yourself
See those beautiful hands
If only you could use them
to defend yourself.
Use your beautiful soul
Make a beautiful change
Coz you will never win
If you feel so unwanted.
You will never win
If you feel so unwanted
Unwanted...
I cant wait for 2nd April..
FYI, it's not coza Avril's concert. I will NOT be going..
I cant wait for my auditions..
I trust in the Lord that the "judges" will like what they hear and see so that i can finally FINALLY be a student of Laselle SIA.
Already finished two songs..
So i have another song to write..
Already thought of which songs to sing for auditions..
So i juz need to practice. Thank you WS for helping me with the guitar playing.. :)
I wanna be like my dad..
I wanna be able to write songs like him.
or to use music as an instrument to express his love for God..
That is so cool..
HHmm.. Im beginning to feel like a new person..
Im growing.. Hmm..
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Why do i have this feeling that nobody cares?
Angel is mad.. Maybe we've been driven far apart from each other..
Maybe it's been ages since i last saw you..
Maybe we juz differ in so many ways,
Like im standing here on Earth, and you're out there in space..
Maybe we juz dun understand each other..
Maybe some things we have done wrong..
Maybe things are too deep,
until we can no longer pull out..
I want to forget..
Coz if it lingers in my memory,
things between us will never change.
Are you willing to forget?
Or do you want to keep it in your memory,
so it lingers on...
Until one of us gives up..
Do you want that?
No.?
Then love me like you SHOULD..
April 2 2005..
I wont be enjoying that live performance by Avril..
or sitting in the midst of adoring fans, screaming her name..
I'll be alone at home, and like a couch potato, watch all of Avril's vcds at home..
I cant go to Avril's concert..
Juz coz no one's going with me..
aRRRRRRrRRRRrRrrrrRrrRr!!!!
.StuPid.
Friday, March 11, 2005
"Who wants to walk the road of life with me"?!
Are you in your sick mind or wat?!
You're like inviting people to walk that "Road of LIFE" with you..
Hello..
Let me remind you that you're attached and NOT AVAILABLE..
Thank you...
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Shoot..
There's something wrong with this blardy blog..
Still editting here and there.. Boo..
Hope i complete this soon..
I'm an Angel without wings..
They have somehow disappeared.
Now i can no longer fly.
God, please give me back my Wings..
Reach my prismic soul.
The Girl
Eva Marie
aka Black Samara.
Hatefully Twenty-one.
Musician
Drummer
Vocalist
Writer
Giggist
Poet.
Loves
Mozerella cheese
Mee sua
Meiji plain crackers.
Music
Screamm
Guitars
Drumming
Singing
Rocking out.
Chilling at Starbucks/Spinelli
Goofing around.
Black eyes.
Black nails.
Black heart.
Hates
Cucumbers
Dog food.
Posers
heart breakers.
YOU.
Unconditional Desires.
My own Orange County Drumset.
To get my diploma in music next year.
Learn double pedals.
Get Married.
Get my future parents in laws to like me.
The endless connections.
Mix the words up.
You have my thanks.
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